Billigfluglinie

I don't mean to be rüde, but -- Air Berlin, you have not yet captured my heart.

• Not by trying to skip Dan when handing out drinks and chocolates.

• Not by stranding the CSC for 8 hours in Stuttgart on their way to Vienna.

• Not by splitting their party and allowing only some of them on the plane they booked home, stranding others for almost 24 hours in Düsseldorf.

• Not by giving those stranded vouchers for food for which no change could be given, even though it meant one of them brought home extra snacks for me.

• Not by losing all the luggage and taking an extra 3-4 days to find and return it.

And the heart-shaped chocolates you (barely) handed out to everyone? Neither bad nor quite worth it.

Plus, these hard candies that taste kind of like Jolly Ranchers, except sweeter and not as refreshing/fruity? There's a kind of viscous jelly in the middle with a less pleasant flavor, in case you didn't know, and it's all very sticky, dentally speaking. Again, not worth it.