Suggested Use-By Holiday

On St. Patrick's Day, I bought the last carton of Mint Chocolate Chip at the corner store. It didn't turn out to be green, but it did seem an appropriate flavor. As a nod to the drunken drunkenness going on at bars around the nation, I ate some for dessert with a little Bailey's poured over the top (not my idea). Unfortunately, all we had in the cabinet was caramel Bailey's. Weird. But I ate it. I am nothing if not a slave to thematic-slash-edible follow-through.

Just as I suspected, this ice cream (without topping) is still good long after the holiday. I ate more straight from the carton last night, to preserve resources. Washing a bowl wastes water, right?

I kin taste the...alky-hol?

From the UK Snack Sampler: Maynards Wine Gums

On observing the package: "To be enjoyed as part of a healthy lifestyle." Nothing in the ingredients list resembles alcohol. "Contains sulphites."

The candy has emerged: They smell...sweet and yet wrong. Kind of sweaty sour. I see four colors so far: black, orange, red, green. Something is written on them. "SHERRYW?" "HERRYWS?"



Black: Sweet. Prickly. Chewing adds a weird meaty-fruity thing. I think I just grimaced.

Green: Lime. Less sweet than black. I appreciate the citrus aspect. Sour is our friend. Nothing like wine.

Red: Powdery at first. A little plastic under the flavoring. Flavor is thicker somehow. Kool-aid without a name.

Orange: Almost no scent. Orange flavor with an edge. Not unpleasant. Not without precedent; I think other orange candies have tasted like this. Sweet and sticky.

Eating all four flavors in a row made my tongue feel thick and wide, not to mention coated with sugar and gelatin. Then, I thought I saw a yellow one, but it turned out to be another orange one. Then I had to lie down for a while. Nah, they're not that bad. But the texture is a little more Jujube (the chewier update, not the hard original) than Gummi.

p.s. Wikipedia says these have no wine. "The name comes from the lingering, subtle fruit flavours that make it "similar to the experience of savouring a fine wine". In reference to this, the sweets have the names of alcoholic drinks on them, for example port, sherry, champagne, claret and Burgundy." Hmph.

p.p.s The black is anise. No wonder I don't love it.

"Adult" Snacking

I find the marketing angle for this non-dairy, non-soy wine sorbet a little off-putting (including that the above looks almost more like a flier for a "sophisticated" "adult" gentleman's [sic] club than for sorbet), but my free sample of Rosé wasn't bad. Why not try a different angle? Do we have to be sophisticated adults every time we eat wine? Just once, why can't the slogan be something like, "I Kin Taste the Alky-Hol!"?