For God's Sake, Don't Toast Them!

While I definitely encourage the words "frosted" and "organic" to come together on as many products' packages as possible, Nature's Path Organic Frosted Toaster Pastries are not quite perfect as a supposedly "healthier" alternative to Pop-Tarts.

The filling in the Nature's Path version is far, far superior in flavor to the classic cherry Pop-Tart (my favorite P-T flavor).  There just isn't enough inside the NP for it to become gooey when toasted. And the icing on the outside is more a glaze than a true frosting. So eat them raw, and you should enjoy the tart cherry pomegranate flavor inside. Raw, they rule.

But toast them at your own peril!

I have always preferred to have my Pop-Tarts raw, too, but it's actually more wrong to toast Nature's Path Toaster Pastries. They burn too easily, and become hard and extra-crunchy. Toasting them in my office toaster oven left them tasting something like a cardboard graham cracker and completely overwhelmed the fruit inside.

So, for me, it's eat -- but do not heat.  I repeat: do not heat.

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I was right!

I have mentioned several (too many?) times on this site that I suspected 3 Musketeers makers had dumbed-down the bar's chocolate somehow in order to make it lower fat.  The color has seemed off for years, and I swear the flavor hasn't been up to par either.

Now! The Universe may have heard my lament, because I discovered this beauty waiting for me at my local pharmacy a few weeks ago.  It's a 3 Musketeers Bar that proclaims, "Now Richer Chocolate Taste" on the wrapper.  And it delivers!  See above; to these eyes it even looks prettier than it used to.



Some prayers are answered in easily identified ways.  This is one of those stories.
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Did I invent the pre-breakfast snack? I had another one.

A package of Yodels = 3 Yodels.

1 1/2 Yodels got eaten immediately before breakfast.

Breakfast was some sort of organic Rice Krispies.

1 1/2 Yodels were eaten immediately after breakfast.

So, in a sense, I had a meal sandwiched by companion snacks.


p.s. I go through phases -- sometimes I think that Swiss Cake Rolls are better than Yodels. Other times I think Yodels kick Swiss Cake Rolls' li'l chocolate butts. I have never prefered Ho Hos. What do you think?

I'd forgotten about this guy.

I suddenly recalled a childhood staple I hadn't eaten in years -- the grilled peanut butter and honey sandwich. Oh, how I loved them.

So I made one after work on Friday, as a nod to "after school snacks" of yore.

It's just as good as I remembered, even with more "grown up" whole wheat bread and raw honey. I want another and another and another...

Memories like crumbs in the purse of my mind.

(photo credit: unknown fellow camper/counselor at Dayton Oaks)

I spent a good part of today reminiscing on Facebook and Flickr, uploading pictures from 10, 20 and more years ago, like this one (from 1990 or 1991) of my first youth group leader and favorite camp counselor eating a disgusting sandwich we made for him out of everything in the camp kitchen. I appreciate that he would even smell it, let alone take a bite. In this respect, I have to consider him a snacking mentor.

A fitting mid-afternoon snack for a day of such nostalgia? A leftover cherry Pop Tart, broken into pieces by a day spent in my purse waiting to be eaten (said purse got a little knocked around by a baby who was playing with it in the meantime, hence the eaten-in-pieces business).



(This photo was taken yesterday, before I ate the first of the two PopTarts.)

I guess I technically prefer a hot and icing-ed Toaster Strudel, but I've always had a soft spot for raw, fruit-flavored Pop Tarts (and this is an item that is not so good in the generic). A favorite cold breakfast in college (we didn't have them in the house when I was a kid), they taste both bland and like candy at the same time. I find them comforting. If only I could pull these memories up over me like a blanket and crawl into a bed of photo albums and boxes of Pop Tarts, the approaching weekend would be a rather cozy one.

p.s. The homepage of the Pop Tarts website, which I had originally linked to in this post, invited me to click on "Moms" or "Kids." That there were no other options (as I am neither -- what about "Dads?" "Caregivers?" "Childless People Who Like Pop Tarts?") struck me as obnoxious. I refuse to link to them anymore.

Some snacks you just don't mess with.

(it's really only worth a blurry picture)

A classic Little Debbie Oatmeal Creme Pie is a beautiful thing. It's soft, squishy, creamy, sweet, and simple. I understand why the people at Little Debbie might want to make something else delicious in the same vein. I could eat four to six of them right now.

The newer Little Debbie PB&J Oatmeal Pie, however, doesn't work. Here, the Oatmeal cookies are stiff, not soft. The peanut butter and jelly filling they've created is not tasty enough to complement the oatmeal. It falls flat. I am relatively sure I will never eat another one, and I'm pretty fond of a good peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

Surgeon General's Warning

(photo by Dan)



"Quit cigs and start the smarts."

The Pixifood Phenomenon

They're supposed to be foods that we loved as kids but no longer enjoy eating as adults. Maybe I'm still a kid at heart, but here are a few of

Other People's Pixifoods I Still Like
Cotton Candy
Fig Newtons
Marshmallow Fluff
Fun Dip/Lik em Stik
Pop-Tarts
Pixy Sticks
Lucky Charms
Cadbury Creme Eggs
Nerds
Frozen Burritos (Annies Southwestern with masa, esp.)
Nutty Bars
Oatmeal Cream Pies
Jolly Ranchers
Cream Soda
Wonder Bread
Fla-Vor-Ice
Captain Crunch
Fruit Roll-Ups
Sour candy
Gummy/gummi Candy
Fishsticks
Doritos
Cheese in a spray can
Cocoa mix with tiny dry marshmallows already in it
Pasta Roni

Note: I think the key to all of the above is enjoying them in moderation and treasuring your memories.

My Pixifoods Would Include
Big League Chew
Vienna Sausages
Candy Cigarettes
Wax Soda Bottles
SpaghettiO's
Laffy Taffy
Dots
Chef Boyardee Ravioli
Pork Rinds
Candy Corn
Liver and Onions
Boston Baked Beans (the candy)
Red licorice
Froot Loops
Bubblegum ice cream

I'm On the Fence About
Hostess Fruit Pies
TV dinners - sometimes I find I am craving one with fried chicken and mashed potatoes and corn and a brownie
American cheese slices
Cinnamon Toast Crunch - or at least the generic kind I had recently, which got soggy too fast.
Fast food chicken - KFC kinda grosses me out and even Popeye's tastes like soap to me now. I still try to like it every once and a while.
Candy Canes (I mostly just like chocolate and cherry flavors)
Zero Bars - I think I need to try these again to determine whether I find them gross now.
Instant mashed potatoes - I haven't had any in years, but I liked that whole "hot lunch" scene at school.


I am happy to go into more detail about any item on these lists. Mentally, I've made another list called "Other People's Pixfoods I Never, Ever Liked." And I will defend my positions! Not to the death or anything, but still.

["Pixifood" topic originated on: Joe Posnanski]

The Poet of MHS

Yeah, I remember high school. I went to Prom with a guy who had sprayed his hair green. I wore a silver dress my mom made for me and glitter eyeliner and a paint pen tattoo. We ate Chinese food before the dance, sitting on the hood of his car. He forgot to bring chopsticks.



I liked snacks back then, too. Here's a poem I wrote 14 years ago about the rolls in my high school lunchroom. I had two similar white bread rolls at Fette Sau on Sunday (practically the only thing I like there, as I don't eat much pork - or any beef or lamb - and the sides are lackluster).


ODE TO A TEA ROLL

A nickel buys warm happiness
from the lunch lady in the
smiling hairnet.

A roll wrapped in napkin and
polite dismissal,
her attention turning to the kid
in line behind me.

She knows I am hooked
on floury carbohydrates and
seems securely defined
in her job - I return
every day at noon,
an addict.

A nickel is so small, it floats in my
backpack - honored to be
traded for a
tiny loaf-like sacrifice.

With a dollar, I could buy
20 rolls and gorge myself
all afternoon but she says
no you may only have
three, or four
on a good day.

I know she is just doing her job,.

How kind and caring you are, lunch
lady, rationing pleasure
so it is always a treat,
a privilege,
to be full.