New goal: Try Takis.

Personally, I prefer Jalapeno Cheetos to Hot Cheetos. But what are these Takis you speak of?

Good for What Ails You?

"Skin Balancing Water?"

I drink Vitamin Water, but I don't count on it being much beyond Kool-Aid for grownups.  Seems like good, old, unflavored water can't be improved on much -- when it comes to health benefits, I mean.   Isn't "regular" water good for one's skin?

Before this curative designer water craze fades, I'm going to create a beverage and call it Expensive Cure-All H2OMG!

And then I'm forming a medicine show* and taking it on the road.

p.s. I'm a bit befuddled by people who "don't like water," if the water in question is clean and cold, so I don't know why you wouldn't drink it raw, for your health. 

*Note: That's a great album.

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Ice Cream, Man.

My friend Nick keeps making delicious homemade ice cream. He sent me home with a jar of chocolate peanut butter cup (homemade peanut butter cups!) a few weeks ago, and we demolished it in one sitting.



I'm encouraging Nick in his idea to run a "CSI" (Community Supported Ice Cream) program in the neighborhood this summer.  At the very least, I think I need to commission some flavors when I start receiving fruit from my CSA.  Nick, I'll happily pay for more jars of ice cream.  Take my money, please!

Put a Jenny in the Slot

Our knitting circle added another Jenny (actually a Jen)* and a Kara, and both of them brought food! Kara's individual turkey meat pies were terrific, as was Jen's apple crumble tart.

I forgot to get a picture of our host Melissa's chocolate chip banana bread tonight. I hope you can forgive me.

Oh, knitting circle friends, I love you.


*we are now Jen/Jenny (Jennette)/Jenny (Jennifer)/Jenni, Melissa, and Kara. It is strange and lovely to have so many Jennies. 'Twas a popular name in the late 70s and early 80s, wasn't it folks?!

Peanut Butter and Stained Glass

I'm usually running late on Sunday mornings, between the subway commute and my own laxity. This means I'm frequently snacking/breakfasting between choir practice and the church service, if I get anything at all.

Yesterday, I gave myself enough time to swoop into a bodega and grab a Vitamin Water ("Defense"), a banana, and a pack of two beloved no-frills granola bars. Nature Valley's Peanut Butter are the best. They just barely border on greasy, but come down on the side of rich and filling. A 2-pack is inexpensive, too -- 89 cents in inflated-price-central NYC means it's probably cheaper elsewhere (or bought by the box).

Adding to the grounded opulence of eating something so simple under stained glass and soaring ceilings? While snacking, I was able to listen to a cellist and pianist rehearse their special music for the morning's service. Perfection.

I've done a lot of eating in sanctuaries in my life (a pastors' kid learns the skills), but these granola bars remain a favorite choice.

Second Time's the Charm.

[With apologies to composer Alan Menken and writer Howard Ashman (Little Shop of Horrors).]

Drink up your milk,
Wash off your mayonnaise,
Here, take my napkin,
Wipe that chili away.
Floss out your teeth --
Free from their corning.
I know things were bad
But now they're okay.

Finally catfish
Is sitting before you.
They didn't make pulled pork
For you by mistake.
Finally catfish
Is here to provide you
Peppercorn flavor,
Cucumbers, and...


No sandwich ever
Small enough for me,
Always had too much
Bread on the roll
I'd get a bun and
I'd eat it all blindly.
Fat in my fingers,
Still I'd say "sure."

Finally catfish
From Numpang surprised me.
It was the right order;
It wasn't the pork.
Finally catfish
Is here to provide me
Sweet soy sauce flavor.
Catfish -- my friend.


Tell me this sandwich lasts till forever;
Tell me the bad ones are clean washed away.

Please understand that some might
Find it too small.
With appetites these days
It's so hard to say.

Finally catfish!

Finally catfish!
A sandwich that's for me.
A sandwich that's for you.


Finally Numpang showed me it can...

Finally Numpang showed you it can...

(Yes it can!)

Fill the right order,
The one that's inside me (you)
With sweet peppered catfish...

Numpang's your friend.

[etc. ad nauseum -- except for the nausea part.]

Food Express

"Food food at the end of the rainbow" -- Jaconfetti

I eat you, Miami...

to the tune of Johanna by Stephen Sondheim.



I eat you, Miami,
I eat you,
I was half convinced I'd waken,
satisfied enough to dream you
Happily i was mistaken
Miami...
I'll eat you, Miami
I'll eat you...


I'll eat you, Miami
I'll eat you...
Are there chickens in that kitchen?
'Cause they call it Chicken Kitchen.
I am finding all your rice boss
Buried sweetly in your curry sauce...


I eat you, Miami
your Cuban, I'll eat, too,
all your snapper and your stone crab claws
sweet, sweet plantains in my happy jaws...

My holiday snack soundtrack

Hey, don't eat the pasta tree! Let's talk about something inedible this morning.

I'm a merrily uncool member of the Christmas Nerds Consortium (CNC) and the Sergeant-At-Arms of its offshoot, the "We Love Christmas Music" club. You may find our members hard to put up with this time of year, but I hope you'll refrain from wishing us ill.



I'm not saying I love that retailers begin putting up Christmas decorations and displays and playing winter holiday music in October. And I'm not saying everyone should be forced to listen to Christmas music everywhere he or she goes for almost two full months. I understand that not everyone observes Christmas, not everyone likes Christmas and that some people choose to celebrate a completely secular Christmas (and would rather not hear religious songs in public places). And I get why people might get sick of hearing the same songs over and over, too, as many stores seem to have the same holiday mixes playing overhead.

I also recognize that there are other holidays going on around the same time that get overshadowed by The Christmas Machine. I do try to be inclusive. I like non-Christmas holiday music, too (Does the Klezmer Nutcracker count?). Still, I will admit that I love Christmas music best -- when it's the "right" Christmas music (meaning: the style liked by me). So it doesn't annoy me in the stores if they're playing something I can appreciate, and it's on all the time in my house throughout December (when there's no one else at home who seems annoyed). And I'm trying not to be too annoyed by the songs (and arrangements) I don't like -- in the spirit of a happy December, etc.



So, while I celebrate Christmas attempting not to step on the toes of other holidays' celebrants, or on the toes of those who opt out entirely or have different traditions, and while I wouldn't force any part of the holiday on anyone uninterested, it just so happens that it's my favorite holiday. And I get excited about it. And a big part of how I enjoy the season is pulling out my Christmas music! Putting on that first record is a pleasant ritual. Some years I "sneak" a little, but my official self-determined rule is that I can start playing X-mas songs the day after Thanksgiving -- today! -- and that's when Christmas starts for me.



So, what's the "right" Christmas music in my opinion? It's not too narrow a category, or I wouldn't own more than thirty Christmas records in addition to a similar number of cds, but that doesn't mean I'm not picky.

Some of the modern "classics," frankly, make me itch. No offense to their fans, but there will be no Manheim Steamroller for me. I'm not into The Trans-Siberian Orchestra, though it has a nicely wintry name. I was okay with the "A Charlie Brown Christmas" soundtrack until I worked in a bookstore where it was played overhead constantly. Piano jazz overload! Now, no thanks. I'm not finding many albums I like from current recording artists, either. You won't find contemporary country, Christian, or pop music in my collection and when it's jazz I like it old and jumping, not modern and smooth. I also don't want to hear too many synthetic-sounding instruments unless maybe Information Society did a Christmas album I don't know about. I like vocalists I can sing along with, and often choose more up-tempo songs that move me around the house. I have to get things done! I'm not falling asleep in front of a fireplace (though I wouldn't mind having a fireplace). I mean, I have my contemplative moments, but they also tend toward the classics.

What I enjoy are the arrangements and vocalists of the 40s and 50s (earlier, if I can find it); decades-old jazz, gospel, and bluegrass; and the eclectic -- dixieland, organ, "lounge," etc. I'm always looking for something a little obscure that fits my mold, too. Some of the "easy listening" classics are a little too classic (i.e. overused). Or a little too "easy listening." Or just plain saccharine. I don't care to hear to Eartha Kitt sing "Santa Baby" 12 times the same way on 12 different albums. Bing doing "Christmas in Kilarney?" Once a year is almost more than enough. I'd rather discover Leroy Carr singing "Christmas in Jail - Ain't That a Pain" or a new-to-me yodeling Christmas carol from Austria.



A few years ago I started putting together a spreadsheet of all the songs I have, cross-referenced to the album or cd title. It's not finished, of course! I'm a nerd with librarian tendencies, but a lazy nerd with librarian tendencies. So far, I've listed 458 songs, including 10 versions of "Jingle Bells" (by the following artists: Arthur Godfrey, Barbra Streisand, Bing Crosby, Dorothy Meadows and John Eastman, Julie Andrews (and Andre Previn), Maddox Brothers and Rose, Milton Page, Robert Mason (instr.), Tex Beneke and the Modernaires with Glenn Miller and his Orchestra, and The Westminster Brass). And that's with 27 cds still to catalog. So you can see how I might need a whole month to listen to everything.

I was looking at that spreadsheet the other day, in anticipation of dusting off my holiday music this weekend. I have a modestly challenging collection, yes, but it isn't so big (and my place is not SO small) that I don't have room for one (or five) more. There have got to be cool songs I haven't heard. Am I the merriest I can be??!! I don't think so. Feel free to recommend your favorite albums or songs/artists in the comments.



In the interest of ending this post someday, I'll close with a few of my own recommendations and mention 5 of my current favorite holiday cds:
1. Where Will You Be Christmas Day?-- obscure recordings from 1917-1959, many bluegrass and gospel
2. A Christmas Gift For You from Phil Spector -- Bob B. Soxx and the Blue Jeans, Darlene Love, The Crystals, and The Ronettes
3/4. Christmas Cocktails 1 and 2 -- "ultra lounge" holiday music.
5. Happy Holidays/I Love the Winter Weather -- Jo Stafford (2 albums on one cd)

Are you lyrics-friendly? Looking for some smooth operators to sing to you? My favorite Christmas vocalists are almost all women. No gender bias meant, but they're easier for me to sing along with. ;) Their non-holiday music isn't too bad, either, by the way. They are:
Julie Andrews, Jo Stafford, Bing Crosby, Nat King Cole, The Andrews Sisters, Ella Fitzgerald, Julie London, Nancy Wilson, Sarah Vaughan, Kate Smith, Kay Starr, Lena Horne, and The Supremes.

Oh, but is there anything I like that is a bit more current? Why, yes! As noted, I'm not a big fan of Christmas Music made since the 1970s, but I have a few favorites from more recent years, my top pick being Sufjan Stevens' boxed set of Christmas music (originals, covers, many amazing arrangements, interesting instruments, etc.). I'm open to modern music, just cranky about most of it that I have heard to date.



So, here's to the tolerance of holiday music! Let's both do our parts. I'll try harder this year not to sneer when people talk about Hilary Duff's (to choose at random) cover of "What Are You Doing New Year's Eve," if you'll try not to run over my toes with your bicycle just because I'm humming "Jingle, the Christmas Mouse."

Or maybe you're already in my un-cool club, in which case -- holler if you want to have a holiday record party!

Beet this.

Let's stay in today.

A grey afternoon + farmers' market beets + mustard + vinegar + buttermilk (granted, someone had to run to the store for the buttermilk) + Nigella Lawson's How to Eat* (I am in raptures over her. She is my first honorary aunt) = cups of comforting beet soup. The perfect accompaniment to PS3 video games on a stay-in Saturday afternoon.



But we don't have to stay in all day. After eating our beet soup, let's venture outside to see Pete Seeger in a family concert (with a grandson, Tao Rodríguez-Seeger, and the amazing Guy Davis) in Brooklyn at this year's Brooklyn Botanic Garden's Chili Pepper Fiesta.



That's better.

* In the wise words of Ms. Lawson, "although it's possible to love eating without being able to cook, I don't believe you can ever really cook unless you love eating...I have nothing to declare but my greed."

Another Pairing

Hey, does salty chocolate match with Turkish Sufi music?

I've got a new album called Folk Lute of Anatolia (Ali Ekber Çiçek, voice and bağlama) and one of the last treats from Vienna, Meersalz Schokolade by Leysieffer [This is a rich, dark chocolate with large grains of salt. It's quite the saltiest chocolate I've ever tasted, but it's delicious and melts beautifully on the tongue]. And then, in a little while, we're all going to watch Little Women (1933, with Katherine Hepburn as Jo). Isn't life grand?

Pairings

Not unlike cheese and wine, some record albums and snacks set each other off to a fine degree.

Sound: The Clancy Bros. & Tommy Makem
Flavor: Manner Original Neapolitaner (made in Austria)
Smells: Wafery, hazelnutty
I like: perforations, grids, layers, guitar, four-part harmony
Caveat: perhaps a bit stale. Yet it says "Best before March 13, 2009?" Well, one corner of the package got torn in transit from Vienna, so maybe the exposure to air depleted its life.

Both the music and the neapolitaner are thick and heartier than they look like they have any right to be. The music's boisterous tunes are brought out by the wafers, at once flirting with crisp, yet bendy. Ballads become e'en sweeter under the spell of this snack. It all seems a bit nonsensical, but there's substance there, no matter how folksy and bracketed by "fol de diddle rye raddy rye."

Like The Clancy Bros. & Tommy Makem, this product is "tough-fisted and gentle-hearted." Original Manner Schnitten mit Hasselnusscreme and lilting folk singers -- nay, the very countries of Austria and Ireland -- I just know you're going to be the best of friends.

Fruchtgummi

Haribo Saure Pommes (Extra Sauer)

Procured in Vienna, these are sour gummy Belgian fries with grainy sugar coating them. The five colors have different flavors, but they all taste reminiscent of gummy grapefruit pieces to me. My flavor guesses are:

Yellow: grapefruit/lemon flavor
Green: grapefruit/lime
White: grapefruit/ pineapple
Red: grapefruit/cherry
Orange: orange (tastes least like grapefruit)



The fries are shaped like trapezoids -- so different sides have different thicknesses, which adds to the illusion of their being hand-cut -- and they "give" easily upon being bitten into. They seem softer than some gummy products. I enjoyed them a lot, but would be more likely to call them "sour" than "extra sour." The sugar on the outside of the fries is not as rough as on other sour gummy items. And I like the novelty of the Belgian fry design. If only I were eating them out of a paper cone.

Eaten while listening to: Isobel Campbell's album Milkwhite Sheets. I wish she'd added a little more sour to her sweet.

D: "These taste fresher."
J: "Than what?"
D: "Than American gummis. Don't you think?"
J: "Mmm."

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Idea: salty gummis