Slamming and Jamming

To begin with:

Harvest Herb Teas' Zhena's Gypsy Tea Caffiene-Free Chocolate Chai is good -- less sweet than hot chocolate, but obviously more chocolatey than your basic chai mix. Angela sent this canister in a box of birthday snacks and goodies a few weeks ago. I made a mugful last night in order to facilitate a Slam-Off between Tim Tams (caramel) and Penguins, which are apparently the biscuit on which Tim Tams were based.


Now:

I've referenced the Tim Tam Slam several times on this site. I'd heard, too, that there were British cookies with which one could approximate the Tim Tam Slam experience -- that is, the experience of sucking a hot beverage through the graham layer of a chocolate-coated cookie, melting the cookie from the middle out before popping it quickly into one's mouth to chew, savor, and swallow.

I've also been told that Tim Tams' recent appearance at US Target Stores, cross-branded in this country with Pepperidge Farm, was the first time that Tim Tams have been widely available in the United States. As excited as I was to find and purchase some for myself, my supply is now running low and there is no Target nearby. As my stores dwindle, I have been in search of a reasonable substitution for future Slams. And if it turns out that the "reasonable substitution" is actually the original cookie (and that the Tim Tam is the lesser knock-off), I can certainly handle that.



So, enters the Penguin into my pantry:

When Dan shopped a British imports store in NYC for Tim-Tam-like birthday presents for little old me, neither of us had heard of the Penguin. But he was told by the shop-keep that McVities' Penguins were just what I'd been looking for -- a chocolate-covered graham cookie that would behave like a Tim Tam in a Slamming situation. So Dan purchased a pack of nine for us to try. That package delighted me on my birthday, as it boldly encouraged me to "P P P Pick Up a Penguin" right on the overwrap.

How could I say no?

Moreover, how could I not take this opportunity to Slam both the Penguin and the Tim Tam, so as to compare?


(Penguins are on the right; Tim Tams with caramel are on the left)

To be fair I really should have compared Penguins to original Tim Tams (without the caramel layer), but I have so far been unable to find original Tim Tams for purchase in NYC. I personally feel that the caramel Tim Tams had a superior flavor to the un-caramel Penguins, but Penguins are quite excellent in their own right. I would eat either one without distress. Penguins are thinner and crisper, while this variety of Tim Tam is fat and richer, but both are slammable.




What's this? A late entry into the battle?

Dan also bought me a package of British Jacob's Club Orange biscuits for this Birthday round. These I Slammed with green tea, as I feared Chocolate Chai might not be the correct flavor to pair with the orangey Club cookies. My first Club Slam transmitted the tea better than the Penguin bar. In fact, its straw-like efficiency may have outpaced the Tim Tam, too. The conclusion of the Club Slam wasn't as tidy, though. Clubs are longer and thinner than either of the other two cookie varieties, so I had to ingest it in two bites (rather than shoving the whole thing in my mouth as it melted, as is traditionally done). However, it did not seem to sog into mush as quickly as the Penguins or T.T.s. The orange+chocolate flavor of the Clubs was another bonus, as I am quite fond of these two tastes together, but the Tim Tam with caramel remains a superior cookie.


In conclusion:

All three are tasty. All three suck (in the right way) when you Slam. All three are well-suited to be birthday gifts for your loved ones. Club Kids, Penguin Peoples, and Tim Tam Fans -- join hands and live as one.

Kissing Cousins

N. American Nutella: ostentatious lid.
European Nutella: sleek packaging.
N. American Nutella: Spiderman on the label.
European Nutella: Slightly yellow bread crusts on the label.
N. American Nutella: Musty, "old" chocolate and hazelnut flavor (expires this month).
European Nutella: Sweet, blossoming chocolate and hazelnut flavor (expires in a year).
N. American Nutella: Contains "Vanillan: an artificial flavor."
European Nutella: Contains "aroma."
N. American Nutella: Spreads well.
European Nutella: Spreads well.

Secret scoring formula beep boop boop beep...

Winner: Maybe it was the age of the batch, but European Nutella wins by a mile.

p.s. These are good (Nutella Mexican Wedding Cookies from last year's Cookie Party):

Reinventing the wheel

I love peanut butter and graham cracker sandwiches dunked in milk. I hadn't ever paid much attention to my ingredients, buying whatever was cheapest in the grocery store, though I do prefer a crunchy peanut butter over creamy in nearly all situations. So I wondered -- if I bought a higher-end peanut butter, like Cream-Nut (which I recently read was considered one of the best peanut butters being sold today) and a really fancy graham cracker, would my experience enjoying a peanut butter and graham cracker snack become something transcendent?




The Players:

C = Cream-Nut Natural Peanut Butter. Rich, superior peanut flavor. Thin, grainy texture. Oil and peanuts separate easily.

S = Extra-Crunchy Skippy. Pleasing sweetness. Spreadable, thick, chunky texture. Never needs stirring.

K = Keebler grahams [sic] crackers. Too sweet, slightly stale or cardboardy texture (I wish I had some Honey Maid. Those are better). Soften too quickly when dipped in milk. Taste cheap.

M = Mi-Del 100% Whole Wheat Honey Grahams. Great crunch. A little thicker and more like a cookie than a cracker. Definite sweetness (From honey and unsulphured molasses). Wheatinesss comes through. Does not soften enough when dipped for a few seconds in milk. A little too much chewing necessarily.

Now I really wish I had Honey Maid Graham Crackers. But we're going forward, not backward!


The Equations:

S + K = peanuts and graham crackers play nicely against each other, with peanut butter thickness really coming through. Slightly dissatisfying cardboardy graham flavor lurks. Not quite enough crunch. Add milk: good softening. Peanut butter helps the graham hold up. Milk saturates correctly. Very comforting, smooth snack with crunching of peanut pieces.

S + M = too crumbly. Begins to fall apart at first bite. Cracker overpowers the peanut butter. Add milk: no better. Now, somehow, there is no sweetness. It's just thick, thick, thick. This cracker is much better with nothing on it. I needed a lot of milk to wash this down.

C + K - I like the natural peanut butter flavor and the thinner, wet peanut butter. The Cream-Nut almost melts into the graham cracker, which is lovely. Add milk: the milk shines in this combo. Great milk flavor coming through. The peanut butter is nice, but it allows the stale aftertaste of the cracker to penetrate. Good mouth-feel, though.

C + M - dry, dry dry! Add milk: slightly wet on the outside. No flavor on the inside. I threw the rest away. This is not right.


Conclusions:

1. The Cream-Nut peanut butter is delicious, probably great with jellies and jams on sandwiches, and would be nice to cook with. It's not bad on a graham cracker, but I need to try it on the Honey Maid Graham to see if that's the real answer. I suspect it is.

2. I'm not buying Keebler graham crackers anymore.

3. The Mi-Del cracker does taste fancy, but it's too fancy for the humble snack I enjoy. I think I'd be more inclined to eat this cracker plain, or with some kind of soft cheese or homemade jam.

4. Extra-Crunchy Skippy is still my go-to peanut butter, especially if M+R buy me the big jars at Costco (I'll pay you back!). It's lower priced and has nice, big chunks of peanut. I like the thick, spreadable texture and non-separating oil. What can I say? Sometimes I'm a traditionalist, and natural peanut butter is not the peanut butter of my childhood. Still, I don't feel loyal to Skippy as a brand, so I remain open to other peanut butter suggestions.

The cat comes around

Meet Progo.



Likes: the smell of olives, trying to eat leafy greens, chewing plastic, scratchin' stuff, waking up early, hanging out on knitting.

Dislikes: flashlight beams, the vacuum cleaner, guests, piles of things, cat treats.

Cat treats?! What kind of feline doesn't like cat treats? I'm both sorry for and suspicious of the snackless. Come on, just try it! I've offered him a ridiculous variety, too, but he turned up his li'l cat nose at every brand he sniffed -- Whisker Lickin's, Pounce, and Meow Mix, most recently.

The closest I got to being able to treat Mr. Proginoskes was a few years ago, when I received a sample of Flint River Ranch cat and kitten food. It was just a small pouch, but the cat gobbled it up. He's not finicky about cat food (just treats), but it was still clear this was an especially pleasing flavor to his palate. I'd often thought about ordering more of the food online to replace the rejected "official" cat treats, but never got around to it. As it turns out, Flint River makes treats, too. So last week I decided to order Flint River Ranch's Signature Brand Ultra Premium Sun Dried Bonita Treats and give this treat-shy cat one last chance to be pampered with a special snack.



The Bonita Treats came in the mail yesterday, so I took them for a test run after dinner. What's in the package looks and smells like large flakes of fish food, has no additives nor preservatives, and should last quite a while (the serving size is just a pinch). I had to hold a small piece crumpled in my fingers and poke it at Progo's nose a couple of times to get him started, and I tried not to get my hopes up ("He won't eat it. He hates everything."), but once he got a little taste he was snacking like a pro and looking for more. He likes it! Hey, Progo!


Postscript: It may be early to tell, but the taste of the Bonita Treats may just have changed his life, snackwise. making him more open to previously rejected treats. After enjoying his pinch, he considered he might try a tartar control Whisker Lickin's, too. When the cat decides to prove me wrong, he spares no effort.

Come out swinging.

Bare Knuckle Dark Chocolate Cocoa Battle!

In this corner, in the pink trunks:


teuscher Chocolates of Switzerland Chocolate 99
99% cocoabutter
Gift from: Paul
Ingredients: Cocoa, cocoabutter, soyafree, 1% Fructose (Fruitsugar)
[I've tasted this one before, because I've been eating one segment at a time at Paul's advice so that I can savor it, but I've never compared it directly to another high-cocoa chocolate.]


In this corner, in the gold trunks:

Michel Cluizel Chocolatier (Paris) Noir Infini 99%
99% de cacao
Gift from: Steph
Ingredients: cocoas, cane sugar, spices, cocoa butter, bourbon vanilla bean
[a birthday present that has been languishing in snack jail because I felt like "the occasion" to eat it was never special enough and the wrapper looked distinguished!]

Before the bell: Obvious from the indredients list, the teuscher has fewer bells and whistles, which I imagine is a boon to those who want their dark chocolate "authentic" and untrammeled. However, I am hopeful that the Noir Infini might have more flavor than just cocoa. I wonder if that cane sugar will make it more noticeably sweet.

About your judge: I can't hold a candle to professional chocolate tasters who talk about specific fruit nuances as if they were sampling wine, like the woman I heard on the radio one evening who made me angry at all gourmands for about 45 minutes. She had all kinds of (to my defensive ears) hoity-toity ways to describe chocolate, a multi-step tasting process, and if I remember correctly pointed out her more refined palate several times. I'm sure she'd feel sorry for my weak tongue and descriptive skills. I am not a professional chocolate taster/describer, so this is going to be a little less proffesh.

Weight has been met.


Tasting: 0.25 oz of each variety.

Let's have a clean, tasty fight! Come out swinging, as it were, etc.


Reflections on the teuscher tasting in real-time: The smell is much like rich cocoa powder. I imagine a little bit of a sourness behind that. Biting a piece off...holding it in my mouth. The powder flavor is melting into a rich bitterness. There's a certain blankness to it. I feel like I'm getting to the heart of the chocolate flavor. I can see why people make food/sauces with chocolate. This is more like food. It's barely sweet at all. Afterward, on my tongue is a thick lingering wave of deep black-hole. It's sucked all flavor into itself. There's a tiny fruitiness or something at the very end. Now I will chew slowly on the rest of the piece. I like the thickness of this bar. It chews nicely. The chocolate is so present. I keep looking over at the wrapper and the [few] ingredients like something more will be revealed. This chocolate is full and thick and big. It's really the taste left in the mouth when I'm done that makes this one special. There's that tiny sour remnant and the sense that I've done something.

Palate Cleanser: limeaid with a water chaser.

Michel Cluizel tasting in real time: This one immediately smells sweeter. Are these chocolates so powdery [bloom] because I've waited so long to eat them [or because I stored them incorrectly]? In the mouth, on the tongue, this takes longer to melt despite being a thinner bar, but my mouth is probably colder even though the water I drank was room temp. This bar is actually more bitter. I thought it would taste a lot sweeter than this. Tastes darker and harsher....still not melting like I'd like it to. I'm going to start chewing. Wow. It's very bitter. I wonder what spices are in here. There's an aftertaste of something I can't identify. This one is not bad, but wow. It's so intense. Thick, hard-flavored paste in my mouth. Really coats the teeth and the sides of my cheek. I feel like the flavor fades as I swallow it. Initially this is the more forceful chocolate, but the flavor takes leave of me more quickly, too. There's a higher, sharper aftertaste. Really no sweetness at all.

By KO, the winner is: teuscher Chocolate 99!

Afterthoughts: I thought I'd like the Michel Cluizel more because it looked (from the ingredients list) and smelled like it would be sweeter and therefore easier to eat. But the teuscher had a better texture (including the construction of the bar) and flavor, and was more enjoyable as an "experience." This does not mean I won't finish both bars, but it does mean that I won't be eating them back-to-back anymore. I'm going to look for some food/wine that pairs well with chocolate to see if I can bring out some of the nuances in these treats (it seems plebian to call them snacks. I think I've been outclassed by chocolate).


A few extra notes on my process:
Contrary to suggestions on this site, which I did not read before this tasting because I wanted to do this intuitively, I let the radio play in the background. Both chocolates were at room temperature. Unfortunately, bloom was present on the chocolates, as they've been hanging out in jail together, but this should affect only the aesthetics, not the flavor. Both snapped very well when I broke them, though the teuscher bar is thicker and had a more pleasing break.

I observed, broke, smelled, melted, and chewed both pieces in that order. I did not prefer one chocolate's packaging over the other. I liked both the black outer label of the Infini and the pink foil of the Chocolate 99.

Like chalk and cheese

Cheese cracker hierarchy:

Cheez-It Hot & Spicy (green Tabasco flavor) - 10/10 **Champion!**
Cheez-It (original) - 9/10
Cheez-It White Cheddar - 7/10
Cheese Nips - 4/10
Krasdale Cheese Crackers eaten in the car on the way to Sarah's birthday picnic in Prospect Park - 1/10

In Krasdale's (partial) defense, I notice that the crackers expire next month, which probably means this box was really old. But that's no excuse for them tasting like cardboard. Seriously.

Also, as Tim pointed out: Why are Cheese Nips so prevalent in NYC if everyone we know agrees that Cheez-Its are far superior?

Cheese it! It's the cops! Let's get out of here.