Thursday, September 4, 2008

I kin taste the...alky-hol?

Maynards Wine Gums

From the UK Snack Sampler: Maynards Wine Gums

On observing the package: "To be enjoyed as part of a healthy lifestyle." Nothing in the ingredients list resembles alcohol. "Contains sulphites."

The candy has emerged: They smell...sweet and yet wrong. Kind of sweaty sour. I see four colors so far: black, orange, red, green. Something is written on them. "SHERRYW?" "HERRYWS?"

Wine Gums

Black: Sweet. Prickly. Chewing adds a weird meaty-fruity thing. I think I just grimaced.

Green: Lime. Less sweet than black. I appreciate the citrus aspect. Sour is our friend. Nothing like wine.

Red: Powdery at first. A little plastic under the flavoring. Flavor is thicker somehow. Kool-aid without a name.

Orange: Almost no scent. Orange flavor with an edge. Not unpleasant. Not without precedent; I think other orange candies have tasted like this. Sweet and sticky.

Eating all four flavors in a row made my tongue feel thick and wide, not to mention coated with sugar and gelatin. Then, I thought I saw a yellow one, but it turned out to be another orange one. Then I had to lie down for a while. Nah, they're not that bad. But the texture is a little more Jujube (the chewier update, not the hard original) than Gummi.

p.s. Wikipedia says these have no wine. "The name comes from the lingering, subtle fruit flavours that make it "similar to the experience of savouring a fine wine". In reference to this, the sweets have the names of alcoholic drinks on them, for example port, sherry, champagne, claret and Burgundy." Hmph.

p.p.s The black is anise. No wonder I don't love it.

2 comments:

ana said...

Wine Gums are so bizarre. It took me years to work up to even trying them. They have not become a favourite, but they are so very British I felt I could not give an accurate sampling of the confectionary delights this country produces, without including them in your package. I pretty much concur straight down the line with your critique. Green & orange aren't bad, the black are vile, and the reds just...bleh. Unexciting.

Jennette said...

I am not sorry at all that you sent them! It was an honor to try them. :) Thank you again and thank you some more.

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