Billigfluglinie

I don't mean to be rüde, but -- Air Berlin, you have not yet captured my heart.

• Not by trying to skip Dan when handing out drinks and chocolates.

• Not by stranding the CSC for 8 hours in Stuttgart on their way to Vienna.

• Not by splitting their party and allowing only some of them on the plane they booked home, stranding others for almost 24 hours in Düsseldorf.

• Not by giving those stranded vouchers for food for which no change could be given, even though it meant one of them brought home extra snacks for me.

• Not by losing all the luggage and taking an extra 3-4 days to find and return it.

And the heart-shaped chocolates you (barely) handed out to everyone? Neither bad nor quite worth it.

Plus, these hard candies that taste kind of like Jolly Ranchers, except sweeter and not as refreshing/fruity? There's a kind of viscous jelly in the middle with a less pleasant flavor, in case you didn't know, and it's all very sticky, dentally speaking. Again, not worth it.

Christmas in July

It's hot outside. We could use some snow.

Hey, what might I be snacking on if it were cold December? I have a holiday cookie party every winter, for which I bake hundreds of cookies (and make a few non-cookie treats).

Here's the recipe I use for Spritz Cookies, which are a favorite of many guests. My mom gave me this recipe, and her cookie baking eclipses mine.

1 cup butter
1/2 cup sugar
2 1/4 cups flour
1/2 tsp salt
1 egg
1 teaspoon almond extract

Heat oven to 400 F. Cream butter and sugar. Blend in remaining ingredients. Divide dough and color with 2 colors of food coloring. Fill cookie press (my second-hand aluminum press works much better than my newer, plastic, trigger-handled press). Form desired shapes on ungreased baking sheet. Bake 6-9 minutes or until set but not brown.



Yeah. That's a lot of butter. But it's such a tender, melting cookie. The butter does good, not evil here.

Wows.

Sour cherries + rhubarb make strawberries + rhubarb cry with shame at knowing themselves the lesser couple. The former are the guys you want to hang out with. They're the pair you know has a thousand inside jokes (but not in a superior way) and wear each other's clothes in really interesting combinations and are the perfect dinner companions and never stay angry for long. You know you'll celebrate sour cherries + rhubarb's 50th anniversary someday with an awesome pool party and sparkling lemonade drinks and witty music, while strawberries + rhubarb might invite you over to stand looking off into other people's lawns or sit on their slightly uncomfortable chairs and watch by-then incredibly old episodes of America's Funniest Home Videos (with the sound off, at least; they're not all bad) and drink beers and not talk to each other and you'll all be wearing boring shoes.

I don't need knickknacks

but I could put Lorenz Snack-World NicNacs on a few shelves ...



These "double-crunch peanuts" are like nut-covered nuts (as described by Dan). The outside is salty and extra-crunchy, with an unidentifiable light layer of non-nut flavor -- smoky or like a very, very mild BBQ corn chip. The brand's website calls this a "fiery coating." Fiery it is not.

I have only a few small snack packs to consume, but these taste like they'd be best in batches. Eat a bunch! Buy in bulk!

Although bought in Vienna, my research indicates NicNacs (or "NicNac's" on the English website, which I refuse to accept) are German. I wonder how they compare to the South African Nik Naks enjoyed by these gamers.


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Non-Contextual Quote: "I just hope that I die while hugging - and not while in a wine-drinking contest." - Baby Cakes (thanks to Brad Neely)

Have your cake

We'll be snacking on birthday cake for a few more days. The carrot cake this year includes both almonds and pecans (toasted), for a supreme nuttiness. The cream cheese "icing" is almost more like a thick glaze. I habitually add the zest of one orange and a bit of juice. I've read discussions online in which people claim carrot cake is inferior to spice cake, dry, not carroty enough or too carroty, but I think this recipe from Cook's Illustrated Magazine solves those problems perfectly. One key seems to be in the use of a food processor to emulsify vegetable oil into your wet mixture before stirring in the dry ingredients and shredded carrots. Don't give up on carrot cake until you've tried this one. Unless you just don't like carrots at all, in which case I can't help you. I really can't help you.

I can understand Dan's desire for carrot cake on his birthday each year. His birthday cake should, after all, be to his specifications. This rule was impressed on me at an early age. When I was a kid (and youth, etc.), everyone in the house who was old enough to choose got to pick her or his birthday cake each year. I remember my dad choosing chocolate pudding cake for his birthday many times. That's a cake that still seems like magic to me, as it creates its own sauce while it bakes. It's two desserts in one! And it's perfectly appropriate for a birthday in an often-chilly month.

I quickly settled into a routine of requesting Mississippi Mud Cake. Some versions of this cake include coffee, but my mom's was fudgy chocolate and marshmallow creme. We lived near the Mississipi for 10 years, so I know that in reality the river mud is neither that tasty nor desirable. I'd rather squish my toes in the cake any day. As an adult, I know that this cake also represents a loving sacrifice on my mother's part, as she did not particularly like marshmallow creme. She must have enjoyed my birthday cakes more when I was younger and hadn't settled on my repetitive choice.



Yum. Chocolate cake. That's still okay with me, too.

My so-called snacks

I borrowed DVDs of My So-Called Life from Steph. What can I say? The show speaks to me:

"The only really great foods are appetizers and desserts, so why bother eating anything else?" My sentiments exactly. Fried apple pies, anyone?




Also: "So, who's into the mustard? You know what that's about. Sex. I mean, all you really need to survive is mild yellow. All this other stuff is purely recreational." I am guilty of recreational mustard:




And: "Refrigerators are so revealing. I can look in this refrigerator and know, like, everything about your family." We've already looked into mine. Yikes.

Popsicle, popsicle, make me a batch

I inaugurated my new popsicle mold. Nothing fancy yet. Just lemonade and blueberries. The combo wasn't bad, but I admit it's a beginner's pop.

Two tips:

1. The first lick is the best. If you get carried away you really can sort of suck out the juice and end up with plain ice and blueberries. Don't do that, though.

2. Try to keep your popsicle upright. The juice melts into the base/handle problematically.